single parenting
Question and Answer
I am a single mother with a 5-year-old son. How can I raise him to be a healthy man who has a good masculine image?
As I think you recognize from your question, your son has needs that you're not properly equipped to meet. Your best option, then, is to recruit a man who can act as a mentor to him — one who can serve as a masculine role model.
In her book Mothers and Sons , the late Jean Lush talked about the challenges single mothers face in raising sons. She says the ages four to six are especially important and difficult.1 I agree. A boy at that age still loves his mother, but he feels the need to separate from her and gravitate toward a masculine model. If he has a father in the home, he'll usually want to spend more time with his dad apart from his mother and sisters. If his dad is not accessible to him, a substitute must be found.
Admittedly, good mentors can be difficult to recruit. Consider your friends, relatives, or neighbors who can offer as little as an hour or two a month. In a pinch a mature high schooler who likes kids could even be "rented" to play ball or go fishing with a boy in need.
If you belong to a church, you should be able to find support for your son among the male members of the Christian community. Scripture commands people of faith to care for children without fathers. Isaiah 1:17 states "Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." Jesus Himself took boys and girls on His lap and said, "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me" (Matthew 18:5). I believe it is our responsibility as Christian men to help single mothers with their difficult parenting tasks.
Certainly single mothers have many demands on their time and energy, but the effort to find a mentor for their sons might be the most worthwhile contribution they can make.
Background Information
Adopting on Your Own
This advice can help single parents who want to adopt children.
On Your Own
A lot changes after a divorce occur, most notably, the demands of parenting.
Questions and Answers
What encouragement can you offer to those of us who are single parents?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
The Way It Wasn't Supposed to Be
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Accepting a New Identity
Unexpectedly widowed, a woman has trouble accepting her role as single parent.
My Mother, My Hero
My mother sacrificed her life to give her kids the best she could — and to help us be our best.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Forgiveness: What it is and What it Isn't
Understanding and granting forgiveness can help you move past the pain of divorce.
Learning to Roll With Change
It's not the most fun you'll ever have, but the results are worth it.
Where is God in the Midst of All My Troubles?
So many cry out to Him in times of need, but is God really listening? And, more important, does He care?
Related Topics
Transitions: Having a Baby, Preparing for Adolescence
Life Pressures: Working Moms, Stay-At-Home Moms, Time for Family
Relationships: Parents and Adult Children, Blended Families
