I would like to teach my own child about human sexuality.

Question and Answer

I would like to teach my own child about human sexuality, but I'm not sure I know how to go about it. Talk about the matter of timing. When do I say what?

One of the most common mistakes made by parents and many overzealous educators is teaching too much too soon. One parent told me, for example, that the kindergarten children in her local district were shown films of animals in the act of copulation. That is unwise and dangerous! Available evidence indicates that there are numerous hazards involved in moving too rapidly. Children can sustain a severe emotional jolt by being exposed to realities for which they are not prepared.

Furthermore, it is unwise to place the youngster on an informational timetable that will result in full awareness too early in life. If eight-year-old children are given an understanding of mature sexual behavior, it is less likely that they will wait ten or twelve years to apply this knowledge within the confines of marriage.

Generally speaking, children should be given the information they need at a particular age. Six-year-olds, for example, don't need to understand the pleasures of adult sexuality. They are not ready to deal with that concept at their developmental stage. They should be told where babies come from and how they are born. Sometime between six and nine, depending on the maturity and interest of an individual (and what is being heard in the neighborhood), he or she ought to understand how conception occurs. The rest of the story can be told later in elementary school.

Admittedly, this ideal timetable can be turned upside down by exposure to precocious friends, racy videos or unwise adults. When that occurs, you have to cope with the fallout as best as possible. It is regrettable that we expose our vulnerable children to far too much of the wrong kind of sexuality.