How to Help an Underachieving Child

by Grant L. Martin, Ph.D.

If your child is not achieving, first look at your expectations. No student should be expected to produce at remarkable levels all the time. Below are six principles about capable children to keep in mind.

Remember that the real basics go beyond reading, writing, and arithmetic.
They can be good at something they don't enjoy doing.
They can be good at some things that are unpopular with their friends.
Don't allow them to become preoccupied with performance, work, or success, and don't be afraid to let them try something in which they might not succeed.
Encourage them to ask questions that should have answers but don't.
Emphasize that they always have career options and can pursue the goals they want most.1

Next, understand your child's learning abilities. Is there any chance a limitation or disability may be present?

Evaluate the classroom situation in view of your child's learning style, strengths, and weaknesses. A young, curious student may easily become "turned off" if the educational environment is not stimulating or if class placement and teaching approaches are inappropriate. Lack of motivation can also occur if the child has ineffective teachers, or if assignments are consistently too difficult or too easy. Providing an early and appropriate education environment can stimulate a love for learning.

The third part of your action plan is to look for ways to encourage and motivate your underachieving student. The key to unlocking your children's potential is to cultivate the dormant seed of interest. Provide them with a wide variety of opportunities for success, a sense of accomplishment, and a belief in themselves. Encourage your children to volunteer to help others as an avenue for developing tolerance, empathy, understanding, and acceptance of their limitations.

Many capable children need reasonable rules and guidelines, strong encouragement, consistently positive feedback, and help to accept some limitations €“ their own, as well as those of others. They should be strongly encouraged to pursue their interests, particularly since those interests may lead to career decisions and lifelong passions. Providing real-world experiences in an area of potential career interest may also provide motivation toward academic achievement.

When problem solving is appropriate, encourage students to come up with their won answers and criteria for choosing the best solution. Show genuine enthusiasm for your child's observations, interests, activities, and goals.

Whether a capable youngster uses exceptional ability in constructive ways depends, in part, on self-acceptance and self-concept. According to one expert, "an intellectually gifted child will not be happy and complete until s/he is using intellectual ability at a level approaching full capacity €¦. It is important that parents and teachers see intellectual development as a requirement for these children, and not merely as an interest or a phase they will outgrow."2

¹ J.R. Delisle, Guiding the Social and Emotional Development of Gifted Youth: A Practical Guide for Educators and Counselors (New York: Longman, 1992), 137-45. Adapted with permission.

² J.W. Halsted, Guiding Gifted Readers €“ From Preschool to High School (Columbus, Ohio: Ohio Psychology Publishing, 1988), 24.

Excerpted from Help! My Child is Struggling in School, a Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers. Copyright (c) 2006, Grant L. Martin Ph.D. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.