The Causes of Homosexuality

One of the biggest questions for parents and spouses is, €œIs this my fault? € This gets down to the root issue of who is responsible for my gay loved one's struggles with his or her sexuality. There are three possible answers:

Answer #1 - God is responsible. This condition is genetic so God caused it, or at least, allowed it to occur. Blame God! It's His fault. (I'm off the hook.) Some parents have actually thrown out their previous biblical convictions that homosexuality is sin. It's genetic, so my child had no other option. €œI guess the Bible doesn't mean what I used to think it meant about this subject. € This is a false solution.

Answer #2 - The gay person is responsible. It's their choice. It's my loved one's fault. (I'm off the hook.) Again, this is an erroneous solution. People do not consciously choose to be gay, in the vast majority of cases. They become aware of homosexual feelings, often at puberty, just as you became aware of heterosexual desires and attractions. It infuriates gays and lesbians when you tell them, €œYou chose this. Now stop it! €

Answer #3 - Homosexuality is the result of a combination of multiple factors, and I may have contributed in some way to my loved one's struggles in this area. To find answers, we must be willing to search for the truth, no matter where that search takes us. Are you willing to €œwalk in the truth, € no matter what answers you find? Are you committed to the truth? Or, are you happy with false solutions because they are easier? They take away the guilt (or do they?). They €œfix € the problem at least, for now.

Background Information

Questions and Answers

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Other Things to Consider

RelationshipsBlended Families, Parents and Adult Children

TransitionsPreparing for Adolescence, Empty Nest