Straight Talk About Male Homosexuality
Chances are, if your son starts questioning his sexual identity, you'll be the last to know. It's not something he'll likely bring up with you until after he's chosen his course. Therefore, it's important that you broach the subject before it reaches that point. Be sure to communicate the following:
Clearly define key terms. "Homosexuality" can be defined as either sexual desire toward or sexual activity with a member of one's own gender. Gays and lesbians contend that their struggle for acceptance is the same as the civil rights movement for racial equality. Wrong. This behavior is a choice. Help him understand the difference.
Point out that it's normal for people to gravitate toward friends of the same sex. Call it camaraderie or a kindred spirit. It's healthy to connect and want to spend time with same-sex friends. Having such feelings does not imply that a person is homosexual.
Make your son aware of the subtle agenda at work through characters in movies and TV shows. There's a conscious attempt by advocates of homosexuality to convince people that normal feelings about same-sex friendships are actually proof of homosexual orientation. They erroneously suggest that the earlier a person embraces their "gayness," the better. And rarely do they explore the consequences of such sin even in this age of AIDS.
Teach your son to guard his thinking. There are two specific situations that may cause him to question his sexual identity:
- Any emotionally distressing scenario can make him vulnerable to doubt: A breakup with his girlfriend. An embarrassing situation. The death of a close friend. Abuse from a trusted adult. Tension at home. We are all susceptible to lies and tricks when we're hurting. Your son is no different. Warn him not to arrive at major conclusions while in a state of pain or distress.
- He must also be aware of something called "grooming." This occurs when another male (often several years older) befriends a boy and begins raising doubts, or even openly suggests that he may actually be gay. The attempt may or may not be premeditated, but either way, the result is a subtle indoctrination for selfish, sexual purposes.
Whether or not these situations are of immediate concern, your son needs to be aware of them. The more he knows the truth about God's divine plan for sexuality and others' questionable intentions the safer he will be. This can be an awkward subject to bring up, but your willingness to tackle it is extremely important.
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