crisis pregnancy

Becoming Detectives

Temporary Internet files can be one of the most useful detection methods. When a Web browser loads a page from the Internet, it keeps a temporary "local" copy (on your computer's hard disk) of everything on that page. This makes loading the same Web pages faster the next time, since less data needs to be downloaded from the Internet.

Internet Explorer

Start by putting the browser in "Offline" mode by choosing File > Work Offline from the menu. This lets the browser work without getting on the Internet.

On the menu, choose View > Internet Options. (With Internet Explorer 6, it is Tools > Internet Options.)

On the Internet Options dialog, click on the Settings button. This will bring up the Settings dialog box.

From there, click on the View Files button, which will bring up a Temporary Internet Files window.

Each column heading is a button that, if clicked on, will sort the list according to the contents of that column. Clicking that button a second time will reverse the direction of the sort. If you position the mouse cursor between the buttons, you can resize the columns to see better the information you are interested in. In this case, you want to see the Name, Internet Address, Size, and Last Access columns.

Web graphics come in different file formats; the one most commonly used for pornography is "JPEG" (often abbreviated "JPG"). You may not see the extension (e.g. JPG).

To see a picture, double-click on the icon next to the filename. You may get a dialog box that says, "Running a system command on this item may be unsafe. Do you wish to continue?"

Click on the Yes button, and the picture will be displayed. Most Internet photograph files are between 30 KB and 100 KB in size; sorting by size lets you zero in on the files most likely to be inappropriate.

The ability to sort the different columns lets you explore other aspects of the Internet browsing sessions. For example, sorting by Last Access date lets you examine what was looked at during a time you know your child was home alone. If you find suspicious material, sorting by Internet Address lets you see what else was seen from that site.

Note that if a picture appears in the Temporary Internet Files, it was seen by the user. (This is unlike the History record described below, which indicates attempted access regardless of whether or not it was blocked by a filter.)

Detection: saved graphic image files

If your child has been viewing Internet pornography, there will very likely be downloaded image files somewhere. Depending on how much effort is being spent on hiding them, you may or may not be able to find them. In extreme cases, the child could even use free Internet file storage space that some vendors offer. However, you should look locally on the computer's hard disk; that's their most likely location, because they can be viewed without going online.

Checking out a sample of these files is not a guarantee that your child hasn't hidden something from you. However, these steps represent a good-faith effort to make sure that your trust in the child isn't misplaced.

Windows 95/98/ME

The Windows operating system provides an easy way to look for files of certain types. From the Windows Start menu, choose "Find > Files or Folders."

This will bring up a dialog box that lets you specify what to look for and where to look for it. For "Named," type in the following. Do not put blanks on either side of the dots ("."); the space after the comma is optional. It should look like this: *.jpg, *.jpeg

For "Look in," click on the down-arrow and choose "Local hard drives." If that choice is not available on your operating system version, you will need to choose a specific hard drive like "C" and repeat the operation if needed for other hard disk drive letters. Also, make sure that the "Include subfolders" box is checked. Lastly, click on the "Find Now" button.

While the computer is looking, the magnifying glass under the "New Search" button will move in a circle. When it stops, you can look at the files that were found. There will likely be many files—perhaps even thousands. You can click on the "Size" column heading to sort the list according to how much disk space the files use. Click "Size" again, and the list will be sorted to show the biggest files at the top. Recall from the above discussion of Temporary Internet files that most Internet photograph files are between 30 KB and 100 KB in size; double-click on their icons at the left to see them.

Widows XP

Windows XP makes it easy to search for image files. From the Start button, choose Search.

Now click on the "Pictures, music, or video" button.

Check the box next to "Pictures and Photos" and click the Search button. The computer will look throughout your computer's disk drive and display the results.

Bookmarks

When an Internet surfer finds something useful, he or she will often bookmark that site, so it can be easily returned to later. Although it is possible to misname or hide bookmarks in obscure places, you should look at the ordinary saved bookmarks to see what is there.

Internet Explorer: On the menu, choose Favorites and any interesting submenus

Internet browsing history

While an Internet browser is being used, it keeps a record of every place it has been on the Web, for a user-specified number of days. You can access this record and see where your child has been or tried to go. Sometimes the Web address will be obvious, e.g. www.hustler.com. If you are unsure, and you are online with your ISP, you can click (or double-click, in the case of Netscape) on the link from the history window, and go there yourself. If the history is blank or sparse, consider what that might mean. The user can clear the history at will, but why would your child want to do that?

Note that the history indicates attempted access, regardless of whether or not it was blocked by a filter.

Internet Explorer: On the menu, choose View > Explorer Bar > History.

Away from home

Unbelievably, many public libraries allow children to view Internet pornography, in the name of "freedom of speech." You should find out what your local library's Internet policy is, and what you might inadvertently authorize your child to access. Hint: if the policy doesn't specifically prohibit the display of pornography or obscenity, and the machines are unfiltered, then your child is at risk. Even if the child doesn't access pornography, other patrons may do so in your child's view.

Another danger zone is at a friend's house, where Internet guidelines may not be in place. If your child is so inclined, he could bring home a floppy disk or CD filled with pornographic images for later viewing or printing. If those files are copied to the computer's hard disk, then the detection procedures above may find them.

Last but not least, there is regular old-fashioned printed pornography. The modern wrinkle on this theme is that kids can print their own copies of images using the photo-quality printers that many families own.

Conclusion

The most effective protection for your children starts with educating them about the destructiveness of pornography. Then you need to help your kids stay honest by putting up a "fence along the cliff," i.e. an Internet filter or monitor, and possibly using a clean ISP. To keep the kids from climbing over the "fence," you need to diligently monitor their Internet usage and follow through if they abuse their Internet privileges.

Don't be afraid of the Internet, but take charge of its presence in your home. Your family will surely benefit from your efforts.

Background Information

Behind the Scenes of a Teen Pregnancy
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Deciding About Adoption
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Questions and Answers

Why do I feel like this pregnancy has pulled me in so many different directions? I feel so overwhelmed with all the ramifications of this decision I must make. How can I sort it all out?
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My pregnant daughter has her whole life still ahead of her. Would it be better for her to place her baby with a family through adoption, parent her baby or have an abortion?
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Review Frequently Asked Questions

Stories

Things Seen and Unseen
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Left to Suffer
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Life is Sacred
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Taboo Grief: Men and Abortion
It's not something most men talk about, but the ones who've lost a child to abortion bear many scars.

If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.
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Other Things to Consider

Faith Helps
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RelationshipsBlended Families, Parents and Adult Children

TransitionsPreparing for Adolescence, Empty Nest