crisis pregnancy
Trendsetting Preteens
Welcome to middle school parenting, where you most likely will have to deal with the line, "But all the other kids at school (or in youth group) are doing it!"
Tattoos, piercings, haircuts and colors, makeup, clothing styles—you're likely to face skirmishes in all of these areas. So how do you deal with the trends and fads that your preteen will inevitably bring home? Here are a few key questions to help you.
- Is it harmful? Research online or at the library. Give your kids objective facts about possible harmful side effects.
- Is it permanent? Tell your kids you want them to decide on more permanent things for themselves when they're older, since fads—or your children—may change by then.
- Is there a rule or law against it? You don't always have to be the bad guy. Maybe your kids' school prohibits the latest trend. Read the handbook and use school rules to your advantage. Social laws that protect minors can help, too.
- Is it disrespectful or distasteful? Middle schoolers often care about offending others. They may simply need to be reminded that other adults or God might see their actions as disrespectful.
Final Pointers
First, don't be so heavy-handed with house rules that you push your kids out the door and behind your back.
Second, remember that not all peer pressure is bad. Programs and groups that encourage abstinence or discourage drug use are often built on commitments to peers, parents and God. Don't obliterate the effects of peer pressure in case you need it in your arsenal later.
Finally, build your relationship with your kids. A healthy parent-child bond makes your preteens aware of your values and sets the stage for them to come to you with questions about fads and behaviors. Try these "trendy" ideas: date your kids, spend 15 minutes after school talking about their day, eat dinner as a family every night, provide positive encouragement and feedback, celebrate accomplishments and mark key times (13th birthdays or the first day of middle school) with "rites of passage" activities. Being an involved parent is one trend that won't go out of style.
Background Information
Behind the Scenes of a Teen Pregnancy
A look at the thoughts and feelings she — and you — are going through.
Abortion Risks
While abortion seems like a "quick fix" for a long-term problem, it is a permanent decision that carries physical, emotional and spiritual risks.
Deciding About Adoption
When considering adoption as an alterative to raising your baby, these answers may dispel adoption myths.
Questions and Answers
Why do I feel like this pregnancy has pulled me in so many different directions? I feel so overwhelmed with all the ramifications of this decision I must make. How can I sort it all out?
Answer
My pregnant daughter has her whole life still ahead of her. Would it be better for her to place her baby with a family through adoption, parent her baby or have an abortion?
Answer
Review Frequently Asked Questions
Stories
Things Seen and Unseen
A woman in a white coat walked into the room and flipped on the fluorescent lights, jarring my wife awake. The jarring was just beginning.
Left to Suffer
Abortion can leave a woman feeling more empty and alone than she ever dreamed possible.
Life is Sacred
Sometimes the choices we make bring pain. Thankfully, one woman turned to God for healing.
Taboo Grief: Men and Abortion
It's not something most men talk about, but the ones who've lost a child to abortion bear many scars.
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Faith Helps
God may be the only person who understands what you're going through.
What the Choice is All About
For a long time it baffled me. I could never understand why anyone would want to be pro-choice. But this past week I finally got it.
Related Topics
Relationships: Blended Families, Parents and Adult Children
Transitions: Preparing for Adolescence, Empty Nest
