I Think I Might Be Gay!
Sarah loves her world history class. Professor Margaret Thompson or Prof. Maggie, as most students refer to her has a special way of making the past leap off the page. Even when Sarah s not in history class, her mind wanders to Prof. Maggie and her dynamic teaching style.
"I think about her a lot," Sarah says. "I'd never even consider missing one of her classes even if I were sick. She s cool and smart and beautiful, and I feel so alive when I m around her."
Sarah is even considering changing her major just so she can have more classes with Prof. Maggie. When she shares that with her friend Beth, she s hurt by her response.
"Switching your major from music to history? C'mon, Sarah! I know you admire Prof. Maggie everyone does. But don t you think this is a little much? You re always talking about her and thinking about her. What s going on? Are you gay?"
Sarah storms out of the room deeply hurt. But later she wonders if there s any truth in what Beth said. After all, she does like Prof. Maggie an awful lot . . . and she does think about her often.
Homosexuality: The Big Lie
Sarah begins to think she may have a crush on Prof. Maggie. Is she gay? Why isn t she daydreaming about guys instead of a favorite teacher? There could be several reasons. If Sarah doesn t have a close relationship with her mom, she could be subconsciously seeking emotional intimacy with another female. All females need to be nurtured. If Sarah s not receiving nurturing and closeness with her mom, it s understandable that she ll seek it elsewhere. Besides, simply admiring someone s qualities, characteristics, teaching style, fashion sense or ability to emotionally nurture those around her does not make a girl gay.
What's Normal?
Being confused about their sexual identity is common among teens. These are usually passing feelings and decrease big-time with increasing age.
Get this: Close to 35,000 Minnesota junior and senior high school students ages 12 to 18 were surveyed about their sexual identity, and more than 10 percent said they were unsure of their sexual orientation. That uncertainty, though, declined with age from 26 percent of 12-year-olds to only 5 percent of 18-year-olds. Don t label yourself as gay or bisexual! In many young people this is only a passing phase of sexual-identity confusion.
Know what else is really common? Finding a person of the same gender attractive. Young people and adults alike do this. You may like someone s personality, the way she dresses or her abilities. Again, just because you think someone of the same gender is attractive or admirable, that doesn t mean you re gay!
Sexual-Identity Confusion
Lots of stuff can make you suspect homosexuality including curiosity, a feeling of not fitting in, being molested or simply the desire for attention. But these factors don t make up homosexuality. For everyone, the teen years serve as a transitional phase and guess what! it s during this time when needs for love, affection and friendliness can easily be sexualized. Sexualizing normal feelings shouldn t be misunderstood to mean that someone is homosexual.
If you re seriously questioning your sexual identity, it s important to point out that there are many half-truths, and even blatant lies, being spread by those sympathetic with the gay movement. Many people who are struggling with homosexuality are being told wrong concepts about it for example, that homosexuals are born that way and that they can t change. Both of these statements simply aren t true.
There s absolutely no evidence that shows homosexuality is genetic. A gay gene has never been found. Contrary to the born that way myth, scientific evidence links homosexuality to social and parental influences including certain family patterns, same-sex peer problems, childhood molestation and peer labeling.
Yeah, but my friend says she was born gay! She s been gay ever since she can remember!
Does she remember being in the womb? No. She has no capacity to remember life at birth. She may be able to remember back to age 2 or 3, but that s not birth. And if she were molested early in life, it s possible that she d claim to be gay because she s turned off by men. But she wasn t born that way.
Because homosexuality is not genetic, a person struggling with it can change. Tens of thousands of men and women who were once gay-identified have changed their sexual orientation and now live fulfilled heterosexual lives.
Proving It
Recently a study was published by prominent psychiatrist Dr. Robert Spitzer proving this. In his study, Dr. Spitzer examined whether a predominantly homosexual orientation will, in some individuals, respond to therapy. He examined 200 respondents of both genders who reported changes from homosexual to heterosexual orientation lasting five years or more. He writes: "Although initially skeptical, in the course of the study, the author became convinced of the possibility of change in some gay men and lesbians."
The majority of participants did report change from a predominantly or exclusively homosexual orientation before therapy to a predominantly or exclusively heterosexual orientation in the past year. These results contradict the position statements of some of the major mental health organizations in the United States, such as the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association, which claim there s no scientific basis for believing psychotherapy is effective in addressing same-sex attraction.
The Truth:
Recent studies and many personal stories show clearly that homosexuals can change their sexual orientation through therapy.
Background Information
Questions and Answers
Stories
If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.Share Your Story
Other Things to Consider
Related Topics
Relationships: Blended Families, Parents and Adult Children
Transitions: Preparing for Adolescence, Empty Nest
