Remarrying and Blended Families

Question and Answer

I'm about to remarry and my future stepkids are against our marriage. They seem to hate me. Is it worth it?

Entering a second marriage which involves "blending" a family isn't easy. In fact, most remarriages involving children don't last. Research indicates that 60-73 percent of these marriages end in divorce. Blended families present a whole set of parenting challenges that must be navigated with extreme care. An unsuspecting stepparent may suddenly be confronted with long-standing alliances, power struggles and an 8-year-old who has assumed the role of "surrogate spouse" in Mommy or Daddy's absence.

Those planning to remarry and "reconstitute" a family should seek professional counseling well in advance of the wedding. Expectations, roles and parenting styles should be clarified with the help of an experienced therapist. Couples who attempt to "go it alone" may be setting themselves up for frustration and failure.