I'm in my mid-20s and the youngest of three children. My mom seems to

Question and Answer

I'm in my mid-20s and the youngest of three children. My mom seems to refuse to recognize that I'm an adult now. How can I transition from her child to her peer/friend?

Many parents have difficulty "letting go," allowing their child to fully separate from the parent-child relationship and move into full adulthood. This may be even more of a problem if your parents have a history of marital conflict or have grown apart in recent years. The empty nest years can seem threatening to a woman who feels distanced from her husband and has directed all of her emotional energy toward her children. If your mother refuses to let go, you will need to start establishing healthy boundaries. This may require much more assertiveness on your part, letting your mother know that you love her, but as a woman in your mid-20s, it is time for you to start establishing more emotional independence. She may feel rejected and hurt by your desire to separate, but it is important for her to understand that this is a normal part of development. You also need to do your part to make sure you are not "enabling" your mother to keep you in a childlike role. If you count on your parents for financial support or allow your mother to do your laundry every weekend, you are contributing to the problem.