Congratulations! You're Gonna Be a Dad!

0-4 weeks

Pregnancy lasts approximately 40 weeks. It's best to wait until the end of the first trimester (third month of pregnancy) to announce the impending birth. At that stage, the chance of a miscarriage is greatly decreased. Until then, enjoy the secret the two of you share.

Now that your doctor has confirmed your good news, your wife should avoid hot baths, alcohol, cigarette smoke, caffeine and heavy lifting. While she should also avoid taking over-the-counter medications, your doctor will most likely prescribe prenatal vitamins.

Your wife may also begin to feel morning sickness around this time. You should be more sensitive to her nausea and offer help and comfort.

5-8 weeks

Now's the time to start planning your calendar. You and your wife should discuss work related concerns time off, vacations, maternity leave and insurance. This is also a great time to shop for baby items and room decorations, before it becomes uncomfortable for your wife.

During a doctor's appointment in the coming weeks, you may be given the opportunity to hear your baby's heartbeat.

The end of the third month is the official ending of the first trimester, at which point many women report their morning sickness diminishes. Others remain nauseous off and on throughout. During the coming months, support your wife with walks, visits to the doctor, back massages and general encouragement.

Word of your impending arrival will soon begin to spread. Talking with experienced parents and grandparents can lessen fear of the unknown.

9-12 weeks

If you are planning to take a pre-birth class, now is the time to enroll. Many local hospitals and community agencies offer helpful, fun classes, which meet for a few weeks.

At this time your doctor may perform certain tests to check on the health of your baby. Your wife may begin to show, and her body will change shape. Her breasts will probably become larger, and her tummy may be expanding. Now is not the time for wisecracks regarding her figure!

By the end of the third month, your baby is approximately two inches long and weighs about an ounce.

11-13 weeks

Mom may be feeling the baby move. At this time, consider names and housing situations. Do you need to replace your sports car with a minivan? Be prepared for a variety of emotions during this stage. If your wife is feeling up and happy one day and down and fearful the next, she has a perfectly fine case of the normals.

Now is not the time to clam up. Be sure and talk with her during this time. You and your wife should be experiencing this pregnancy together. Many men begin to work harder during the pregnancy, feeling that they need to provide financially for their new family. Your long hours at the office or work site can, however, frustrate your wife, who may feel she is going through the ordeal alone. Stand by her side.

14-16 weeks

Tests, tests and more tests. This is the time frame where some important screens are being performed to see how healthy your baby is. Two of the most common are the maternal serumalphafetoprotein (MSAFP) screening and the multiple marker test. Your doctor is checking for problems such as spina-bifida and high sugar levels. Be patient. The results of these tests normally take a few days and waiting can be difficult.

Assure your wife that no matter the results you are going through the pregnancy and birth as a committed team. Your baby is still small enough at this stage to fit into the palm of your hand, yet he or she is sensitive to light, sounds and even gets hiccups!

17-20 weeks

You're almost halfway to d-day (delivery day)! Your wife's body is really changing now. She may experience heartburn and an aching back almost daily. If you wonder why, imagine what it would be like to reduce the size of your stomach by half and then strap ten to twenty pounds onto your gut and walk around like this all day.

If you haven't already done so, take on more of the household chores. Bending and lifting are proving to be uncomfortable if not difficult for your wife. It's common, too, for moms to experience constipation and swollen ankles at this stage.

Also, if you haven't done so, tell your boss and coworkers about your future work schedule. Nowadays it is normal for a new dad to take time off for delivery, recovery and settling your baby into the home.

21-24 weeks

Does your wife mention how tired she is all the time? She's not joking. The baby is literally pulling iron, minerals and blood from her own body. And her expanding uterus is pushing up against her lungs, so she may be out of breath after a short walk. Since baby is relying heavily on mom's diet, you can help her out by eating healthy as well. Eat more vegetables, fruits, and protein rich foods.

Your baby is now approximately 8 inches long and weighs about a pound. Dad, are you praying for your wife, the delivery and the arrival of your new son or daughter?

25-28 weeks

Someone may give a shower party for the baby. Put off buying too much baby equipment, because others may give you these items as gifts.

Week 27 is the last week your wife should travel by air without approval from your doctor. Your wife will now want to eat several small meals throughout the day, as opposed to three full meals. And she will want to stand and stretch throughout the day and evening. For more comfortable sleeping, she may want to surround herself with several large, soft pillows.

You may begin to practice breathing and relaxation exercises at this point. You can also now discover the sex of your baby.

29-32 weeks

Start planning some of the details for your trip to the hospital. Have you purchased an infant car seat yet? You can't leave the hospital without one. Have you considered having someone in the delivery room with you? What do you want the environment to be? Celebrative? Reflective? Many of the choices are up to you.

As a supportive husband, you at this time may increase the back rubs, trips to purchase frozen yogurt, and extra efforts at household chores. Are the camera and video recorder ready to roll?

33-36 weeks

Your baby can now arrive at any moment. Your wife will begin to experience Braxton Hicks, or involuntary muscle contractions in the tummy, pelvic and back region.

It's time now to purchase infant diapers, baby shampoo, lotions and basic baby supplies. Your wife may want to purchase a nursing bra.

Have you planned for someone to help in the home in the days following the delivery? Have you done some advanced food and household shopping? Do you know the best route to the hospital? At this stage, your doctor or hospital may issue you a pager. Focus now on how your life is about to change; for a new dad there's no turning back.

37-40 weeks

Most doctors will not allow your baby to progress much past the 40-week mark. If you are in the 40th week, you are probably hours away from delivery. Your wife's amniotic fluid (water) may or may not "break." In the last stages of the 40th week, your doctor may advise your wife to walk around to "get things going." If things do not progress, your doctor may use medications to stimulate labor.

Once you arrive at the hospital everything happens very quickly. We advise new dads to try and be "fully present." Get into the present situation at hand and soak it all in. What time is it? How does your wife look and feel? Has the baby "dropped" into the birth canal? Is it too bright or too loud in the room? Are you feeling weak or strong?

Once the heavy labor begins and your baby's head "crowns," there are only a few precious moments until you are fully a new dad. Congratulations! Welcome to fatherhood!

Following delivery

At first your baby may look unusual to you. He or she will be wet, wrinkled and covered with vernix (a wax-like substance) and might not took anything like what you had imagined. Don't put off moving toward your baby. Begin to bond this instant, not a year or two from now. Hold your baby, talk to him or her and look into your baby's eyes.

Activity around the home will be hectic for a few days, but don't let that keep you from your baby. Spend time holding and walking with Baby. Don't let the busyness of having visits from friends and relatives keep you from enjoying these first days as a new family. These are moments and days you will never get back.

And in the first few days, your baby will change so much. Seemingly overnight, his or her eyes will come into focus, hand and arm movements will become more coordinated. Everyone will be exhausted, but it will be a good kind of exhaustion.

The days and years that stretch out in front of you can be left for someone else to worry about right now. Celebrate the new life God has placed into your life. Smile dance go outside and jump up and down. Go to a fast food restaurant and tell them you want "the new dad special." Call an old friend whom you haven't seen in a while and shout into the phone, "My wife and I just had a baby!" Praise the Lord.

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord. Psalm 127:3 NASB

Background Information

Questions and Answers

Stories

If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.
Share Your Story

Other Things to Consider

Life PressuresWorking Moms, Stay-at-Home Moms

RelationshipsBlended Families, Divorce, Parents and Adult Children, Caring for Elderly Parents