retirement
Question and Answer
After decades of eagerly anticipating the "golden years" of retirement, I now find the promised carefree lifestyle has lost its appeal. Why do I struggle with feelings of restless discontentment when I should be reveling in happy fulfillment? After all, I worked diligently for many years to reach this point in life.
It is unfortunate that most of our retirement hopes and dreams are shaped by the media's perspective. Advertisements for golf equipment picture groups of smiling seniors gathered on sun-splashed greens or in a luxurious clubhouse. Implied is that this heart-warming camaraderie is not only a daily affair but is also the high point of the participants' lives. Retirement communities feature husbands and wives strolling arm-in-arm through idyllic settings as they gaze adoringly into one another's eyes — all the while planning the next round of leisure activities. Travel agencies and cruise ships transport us via print and photo to white sandy beaches where gentle balmy breezes caress carefree couples whose tanned faces mirror the anticipation of coming adventures.
But what happens if I taste these delights and am left with a sour taste in my mouth? Does it mean that I am out of step with the rest of the world and have not learned how to properly enjoy life? It's natural to begin thinking that way, and as a result, launch myself on a guilt trip simply because I am not engrossed in the kinds of activities that seem to keep the rest of the world happy. It's easy to be lulled into thinking that one size fits all — that what works for recently retired Joe Smith will do the same for me.
That kind of thinking fails to take into account differences that exist among us:
- Some can hardly wait to leave the workplace for the final time and head for the golf course. Others get great pleasure from the fruits of their labor and are reluctant to give up this opportunity to be productive.
- Some are endowed with athletic abilities and enjoy not only the competitive nature of a variety of sports but also the association with like-minded individuals. Others have to make a conscious effort to keep from tripping over their own feet and love the passive nature of a cooperative endeavor.
- Some thrive on changing scenery and constant travel — their bags are seldom unpacked. Others are perfectly content to spend their time parked in front of the fireplace while engrossed in the changing scenery of their neighborhood.
- Some center their life on family. Others enjoy their family but also cherish the company of a circle of close friends.
- Some feel the need to be immersed in conversation and the social scene. Others prefer the solitude of a hiking trail or the peaceful murmur of a mountain stream.
- Some prefer to admire lawns from a distance or a lawn mower guided by hands other than their own. Others take great joy in a patch of grass that has been flawlessly groomed through their own effort.
- Some are stimulated by change and seek to remain in contact with those of a younger age. Others feel threatened by an ever-evolving culture and are most comfortable when among their peer group.
- Some view work as a distressing burden. Others find it to be a source of joy.
If you are experiencing discontent, it may be the result of false expectations. Perhaps this is a good time to do an honest evaluation of your likes and dislikes and then find a means for expressing them.
We seldom realize that what we may miss the most after leaving the workforce is the ability we once had to give of ourselves. The greatest fulfillment in retirement comes not from being unchained from the work place but rather having the freedom to pick and choose from among the multitude of opportunities that surround us. Satisfying a latent need to give often takes the form of volunteering your experience and abilities to better the lives of others. Local schools need mentors or teaching assistants. Nature preserves, museums and fine art centers are searching for docents. Non-profit and charitable organizations as well as local churches look upon volunteer help as their lifeblood. Watch your local newspaper. There are dozens of opportunities available. Why not try it? Who knows, you may like it and in the process discover that elusive goal for which we all search — contentment.
Background Information
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