moving

Question and Answer

Due to a job transfer, we are moving to a different region of the country. How can we "soften the blow" for our kids?

Each year, over nine million children ages 1 to 14, and over two million teenagers ages 15-19, move to a new home. Moving isn't easy for kids. According to Parents magazine "toddlers will mourn the loss of their room and the house they've always lived in. School-age children will mourn the loss of their friends and the loss of their school. Teenagers, along with mourning all of the above, are likely to feel anger at their parents for a major life change that is beyond their control."

In her book After the Boxes are Unpacked , author Susan Miller suggests several guidelines to help your children make the transition more smoothly:

  • Don't play down the importance of the changes your children are going through.
  • Telling them "everything will work out" isn't necessarily the best approach.
  • Encourage them to express their fears and concerns. If they are too young to verbalize their feelings, help them.
  • Ask your teenagers to tell you what they are feeling. Listen and let them do the talking.
  • Don't feel you have to justify or defend the move, shoulder the blame, or solve their problems.
  • Introduce change in stages.
  • Be available to talk, listen, and provide support.
  • If your child lashes out in anger, acknowledge his or her feelings. Don't deny them; that intensifies their sense of isolation.
  • Remember, it's normal for children to experience some temporary regression in behavior. They may even have a slight drop in grades.

If your family moves during the summer months, it's important to help your kids find social outlets prior to the start of the school year. Help them get plugged into a church group, sports league or community youth organization as soon as possible.

Background Information

Moving Blues
When you move, you pack more than just your stuff — your emotions often get put in boxes, too.

Questions and Answers

How can I get my children ready to handle a move to a new city?
Answer

I have a 14-year-old who is depressed, angry and will only talk about our old home. How do I help her?
Answer

Our 17-year-old son says he won't move with the family. He wants to live with friends and graduate from the school he now attends. Should we let him stay?
Answer

What can we do to make our upcoming move easier on our two teenagers?
Answer

Review Frequently Asked Questions

Stories

Moving For Him
I knew He loved me, but until I moved, I didn't know how much I needed His love.

Cherish, Not Cling
Deciphering what can be let go and what to hold on to is often a major step in moving on.

If you've been through a experience related to this topic, we invite you to share your story with others.
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