A New Season

After 20 years of raising children and managing a household, I was restless and discontent. I felt like the tree in Shel Silverstein’s book The Giving Tree who became a mere stump after a lifetime of unreciprocated giving. These new feelings didn’t make sense to me because parenting was a rewarding experience, and I had for the most part enjoyed managing a household. Was I experiencing motherhood burn out? I’d read about women who were unfulfilled while caring for their families, but never dreamed I might feel this way.

I’d happily opted for full-time motherhood when I became pregnant with our first child. Many women by necessity had to work while raising their kids. I was grateful I could choose between the two. However, last spring I found myself cooking dinners for people who weren’t coming home to eat. My kids had jobs and my husband traveled a lot. Much of my life revolved around their needs, interests, and schedules, and yet I didn’t get to spend much time with them. Cooking and cleaning were draining my emotional energy.

Shortly after these new feelings surfaced, I received an unexpected invitation to join a friend for a week on the beach. I jumped at the chance, believing this opportunity was divinely appointed. I hadn’t been on a vacation in years. God was giving me a gift, I told myself. I would no doubt come back refreshed and ready to jump back into my role as the happy homemaker.

The turquoise water and white sand were heavenly. I did what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, and didn’t feel like the tree stump in Silverton's book. Even though I reconnected with myself for a few days, I felt restless again only one week after arriving back home. My vacation had done nothing to alleviate these feelings.

After reflecting on these resurfaced feelings, I realized a precious season of my life was coming to a close. My kids were nearly grown and no longer needed constant mothering. The dreams I’d put on hold long ago were tugging at my heart once again. My discontent was simply an indication I was about to experience a new season in my life. I still loved my family and home, but I needed to go back to work and do something for myself.

Family and marriage experts recommend that a when a partner wants to make such a significant change, the spouse needs to fully support the decision. Going back to work would be a huge change for my family, particularly for my husband who was very dependent on my around-the-clock availability. Fortunately, he and the kids were supportive. In fact, they were a little too supportive. I wondered if they appreciated my sacrifices over the years.

“But how will you feel knowing that I’m gone all day and not thinking about you so much?” I asked my 16 year-old.

“Mom, it’s kind of annoying that you think about me all the time,” he replied without hesitation. “I can take care of myself now.”

A little resistance and a few tears might have been nice, but I knew I had the green light from everyone in my family. Several years ago I’d prayed God would lead me to the right job at just the right time, and it appeared that time had come.

I pulled together a resume and worried about the gaping hole in my work history. Even though I’d had some interesting experiences I wondered if prospective employers would dismiss or respect my work as a full-time mom and homemaker. Three job offers punctuated the need that the skills necessary to manage a household and raise children are not only respected, but translate well in the marketplace. I rejoiced that my reawakened dreams were being fulfilled!

As the first day of my new adventure loomed ahead, I had second thoughts about working full-time. Maybe I was crazy to think I could do this. I might not have enough stamina to work, take care of my family and get through the holidays. I sought counsel and encouragement from a friend who had accomplished it all for years.

“How do you manage to pull it off?”

Her answer was neither comforting nor encouraging. “You just do it,” she said.

I quickly discovered I could not only do it, it felt good thinking about other things besides my kids. My first day of work flew by and was so much fun! I returned home and discovered that my house was still standing and everyone had been fine without me.

The first few months were a little challenging as we negotiated a new routine. Dinner isn't quite as grand. The house isn’t quite as tidy. I’m a little more tired at night, but regular exercise and an earlier bedtime has helped alleviate the fatigue. My husband enjoys that I can take him out on a date and doesn’t have to worry about the bill.

Life now has a nice balance. I look forward to going to work and enjoy coming home; chores on the weekends even provide a nice break from my work routine. God gave me a job that would allow me to use my talents and honor my commitment to my marriage and family.

Would this life have worked for me ten years ago? Not likely. But with God’s direction, the right timing, and the support of my family, I’m happy and fulfilled. Once again, I feel like the beautiful tree in The Giving Tree—and am more than capable enough to give back to my family.

• 
• Print Friendly Version
• e-Newsletter Sign Up

Life Applications

Avoiding and Ending an Affair
If you're tempted to have an affair, here's how you can walk away.

Who Needs Counseling?
Counseling is sometimes perceived as a "last resort," rather than a valuable source of help.

Get Help

Family Store

Becoming Your Favorite Church
(Paperback) Does it seem you’re always searching for the "perfect" church? Maybe you’re already there. Discover the amazing things that can happen when a pastor, elders and laypeople work in unison.