Mom, I think I'm a Lesbian
If your daughter has had sexual feelings for, or even a sexual encounter with another girl, it does not mean she's destined for a life of lesbianism. It was simply a wrong choice. Be careful not to overreact or withdraw. Talk calmly. Be a good listener while gently encouraging her to heed the truth. As much as your child needs data and facts, she needs your physical and emotional involvement as she's struggling with these issues.
You can help your teen wade through doubts about her own sexuality by understanding the truth about homosexuality and where in the progression of thought, emotion and conduct your teen is. Here are some basics to keep in mind:
- Homosexual behavior is not a result of genetics. No scientific proof or even strong evidence exists to support a biological predetermination of sexual preference.
- Homosexual behavior is not normal from a scriptural, medical or cultural perspective.
- Homosexual behavior is identified as sin in the Bible. God includes it along with other deviant and unhealthy behaviors. His word also makes it clear that, while we are to reject the sin, we are to show compassion to those enslaved by it (Psalm 97:10).
Ask, "Why do you feel that way?" Listen for indications that she may have embraced some of the faulty ideologies we've discussed. For women in particular, same-sex relationships can feel "safer," though that doesn't make them healthy. How committed is she to thinking and behaving this way?
Remember, if your 15-year-old is raising this issue with you, two things are true. First, she is already some distance down that road. Second, she must also realize that you love her. If indeed she feels secure in your love, that confidence should provide the essential foundation you need to talk openly about it. You may be able to work through her confusion just fine. But for a particularly delicate or volatile set of circumstances, you may profit from the wisdom of a Christian professional uniquely skilled in this area.
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Other Things to Consider
Related Topics
Relationships: Blended Families, Parents and Adult Children
Transitions: Preparing for Adolescence, Empty Nest
