Adoption as Grace
Adoptions are a very special way to start or enlarge a family. Thankfully, there are many different ways to go about adopting or placing a child for adoption. To the woman dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, adoption represents an alternative to abortion that she can feel good about. To the couple suffering from an infertility problem, adoption may be the only way that they can satisfy their overwhelming longing to parent a child.
To take two separate tragedies an unplanned pregnancy and a couple grieving over an infertility problem and to combine them in such a way as to solve both problems simultaneously, is exciting beyond words. Through grace, the birth mother makes a painful but heroic decision and is granted the strength to see the decision through. Also through grace, the adopting parents accept a child into their home and bestow on that child their name, their material possessions and the fullest measure of their love and affection.
A special bond exists between birth mothers and adopting parents. They have together, through teamwork of a most magnificent kind, created a human being with a soul and personality, in a way which neither could have accomplished without the other. There is no greater human example of grace.
Whether we are aware of it or not, no one has a better understanding of the concept of adoption than the Christian. A Christian is, through God's grace, accepted into His family without limitation or restriction, and possesses the fullest possible measure of all the rights and privileges of membership in God's family.
As Christians, we believe that we are accepted into God's family not due to any virtue of our own, nor because of our works and accomplishments. Rather, acceptance is a function of God's grace. Likewise, an adopting parent accepts a child into his or her family as an act of grace. This is not to say that there is no expectation of a warm, fulfilling and rewarding parent and child relationship. Viewed from the eyes of the adopting parent, however, adoption is more about giving the giving of love, companionship and the provision of one's material possessions than it is about receiving.
It is beyond the scope of this article to explore the many implications of the concept of grace to the relationship between parent and child. It needs to be stated, however, that the concept of grace has even greater and more profound application to the relationship between adopting parent and adopted child than it does to the more traditional parent and child relationship. This is so because adoption is, by its very nature, a function of grace.
In most states, before an adoption can be finalized, the judge actually asks the adopting parents the following question: "Do you understand that if your adoption petition is granted, you will be entering into a contract with this state, in which you will be agreeing to treat the child, in all respects, as if you had given birth to him or her, without exception?" If the adopting parent cannot give an affirmative response to that question with a clear conscience, that person should not adopt. There is no place for differentiation between natural born and adopted children within one family. Such differentiation is the very antithesis of grace.
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Life Pressures: Working Moms, Stay-at-Home Moms
Relationships: Blended Families, Divorce, Parents and Adult Children, Caring for Elderly Parents
