What are some common reactions to a miscarriage?

Question and Answer

When a pregnancy ends in miscarriage, a woman and her spouse experience a great variety of emotions. Below are some thoughts on what you're possibly going through.

What you might be feeling

Guilt "I must have done something wrong."
Denial "Maybe there's a mistake. Maybe I'm still pregnant."
Depression
Mood Swings
Anger often masks grief
Jealousy toward pregnant women or women with babies
Withdrawal from social contacts
The grief cycle shock and denial, anger, depression and detachment, dialogue and bargaining, acceptance.

Whether they are experienced immediately or later, the emotional and psychological responses to a miscarriage typically parallel those of any significant loss. In particular, the cycle of grief needs to be accepted and completed in order for healing to occur. Many who have studied the grief process delineate five stages one must navigate: shock and denial, anger, depression and detachment, dialogue and bargaining, and (finally) acceptance. It's important to note that these "stages" seldom are experienced in a linear progression, but rather tend to occur in spiraling cycles until the loss is resolved.

Receiving permission to grieve and acknowledging the loss are crucial. Otherwise, the bereaved person can get "stuck" in denial, repressed emotions or depression, which can greatly impact one's spiritual, emotional and physical health.

Women who have lost a baby sometimes feel guilty and relive the pregnancy, trying to recall what they might have done (or not done) that could have caused the miscarriage. With rare exceptions, such as drug or alcohol abuse or gross malnutrition, such guilt is unfounded and is simply a normal maternal reaction.